I never thought I’d be the woman who stopped getting Botox.
Botox was part of my rhythm for years. It gave me that smooth, camera-ready confidence—especially while running a brand in the wellness space. But somewhere along the way, I started to feel like I wasn’t in a relationship with my face anymore—I was in a battle with it.
This isn’t an anti-Botox message. If it makes you feel good, do it. I’m all for women having choices when it comes to how they age and care for themselves. But I want to share why I pressed pause—because that decision cracked open a deeper journey back to myself.
The Slippery Slope No One Talks About
I started small—just my forehead. But our facial muscles are smart. When one group gets frozen, others jump in to compensate. My crow’s feet deepened, so I treated those. Then I noticed lines forming around my nose. My under-eye skin started looking thinner. It was like playing whack-a-mole with my face.
Eventually, I Botoxed my masseters. They were crazy strong and visibly big from years of clenching, and honestly, I was self-conscious about my masculine jawline. The relief felt incredible at first. But over time, I noticed something no one warns you about—my face started losing structure. Weakening those foundational muscles made my lower face collapse slightly, and the skin around my mouth began to hang in a way it never had before.
And if I’m being completely honest—there was always a 50/50 chance I wouldn’t love how it turned out. One eyebrow too high. A weird hardness in my brow. I once Botoxed my smile lines and smiled like the Joker for three months.
It started to feel like I was managing a constant cycle of tweaks, touch-ups, and second-guessing. I would catch myself analyzing my face in every photo, hoping something would "settle" or correct itself.
And back in my 30s, I even lied to my partner about getting Botox. I was embarrassed—ashamed even. I felt like I had to hide this choice I was making for myself. Now that I’m in my 40s, I’ve let go of that shame. But it made me realize just how much energy I was spending trying to control and conceal something that was supposed to make me feel more confident.
The Science of Atrophy—and the Trap
There’s real science behind this. Botox works by paralyzing muscles, and muscles that don’t move begin to atrophy—just like what happens when you stop using your body at the gym.
A study confirmed that long-term use of botulinum toxin can lead to facial muscle atrophy. Over time, this weakens your support structure: the fascia, muscle tone, and skin density all start to degrade. It’s subtle—but suddenly, you’re left with thinner skin, more hollowness, and a tired look that has nothing to do with age.
There’s also the toxin factor. While I’ve never personally experienced Botox poisoning, I’ve heard more and more stories—especially from women who, like me, do regular lymphatic drainage and facial massage. When you’re constantly moving fluid and stimulating tissue, it’s worth asking whether introducing a neurotoxin into that system really makes sense.
At some point, it started to feel like the same trap I see in pharmaceuticals: treat the symptom, not the root cause. And once you're in the cycle, it's hard to get off the ride.
So I Got Off the Ride—And Built a Ritual Instead
Instead of freezing my face, I started strengthening it. Supporting it. Connecting with it. And guess what? I started to glow again.
Here’s what’s been working for me:
1. Microcurrent for Muscle Strength
Energizing the face from the inside out — reactivating tone and lifting from within.
Microcurrent is like resistance training for your face. It lifts, tones, and re-educates the muscles—without paralyzing them. It also boosts ATP (cellular energy), which helps improve skin quality from within.
This is about activation, not restriction.
2. Daily Facial Massage + Monthly Buccal Release
Encouraging circulation, lymphatic flow, emotional release, and softness — inside and out.
This ritual has become a daily love letter to my face. Each morning, I massage with oil—lifting my cheeks, sculpting my jawline, and gently draining puffiness.
Once a month, I treat myself to a professional facial massage with buccal release (yes, that inside-the-mouth technique). It melts the deep tension held in my jaw, especially in my overactive masseter muscles, and helps me release the clenching I used to ignore.
It’s incredible how much unspoken emotion we store in our faces. This practice isn’t just physical—it softens me emotionally, too. It’s a reminder to let go, to exhale, and to meet myself with care.
3. Red Light Therapy + Infrared Sauna = Glow Mode
Collagen production, skin repair, deep detox, and dewy radiance — this is your glow-on-autopilot time.
These are my non-negotiables. Red light stimulates collagen, heals inflammation, and boosts circulation. An infrared sauna supports detox, oxygenates the skin, and leaves you with that dewy, lit-from-within flush.
And honestly? It’s my sacred time. I get in the sauna, no kids, no chaos, and just be. I let the technology do the work while I breathe, sweat, and reset. It’s the best gift I’ve given myself as a working mom.
4. Acupuncture Facials + Face Yoga
Moving stuck energy, lifting naturally, retraining expressions — your glow from energetic alignment.
Acupuncture helps lift and tone naturally, but also moves stuck energy. I love pairing it with face yoga to re-train my expressions—because if I’m frowning all day, no treatment is going to undo that.
This is slow beauty. Intentional. Energetic.
5. Nutrition, Sleep + Night Rituals
Glow comes from nourishment, rest, and regeneration.
My face is always a reflection of what’s happening inside. I’ve moved away from calorie counting and instead ask myself: Will this nourish me? Will this help me feel strong, vibrant, and calm?
My go-to internal staples are bone broth, collagen, omega-3s, and vitamin C—all essential for supporting fascia, skin elasticity, and deep cellular health. I also avoid alcohol because it dehydrates me, disrupts my sleep, makes me puffy, and—honestly—dulls my chi. I’m doing everything I can to increase vitality, not drain it.
I try to sleep on my back (still a work in progress), and I’ve started experimenting with targeted face taping—though I’m still figuring out how I feel about it. Curious, but not fully convinced yet.
What I am fully committed to is deep nourishment through skincare. I rotate between castor oil and beef tallow at night to lock in moisture and support barrier repair. It’s simple, grounding, and incredibly effective.
These rituals help me feel like I’m not just caring for my skin—I’m restoring it.
The Most Underrated Glow-Up Tool? Awareness.
Your expressions shape your face—and your glow. Presence is power.
Your facial expressions matter more than you think. I’ve learned to watch myself—am I frowning? Am I pulling my mouth downward when I’m thinking? Am I squinting all day?
Retraining my default expression has been one of the most impactful things I’ve done. Because we sculpt ourselves daily, whether we realize it or not.
Final Thoughts — A New Kind of Glow
Botox used to be part of my routine. But over time, I started noticing a pattern—I felt more dependent on it than empowered by it. I’d go through phases, chasing symmetry or smoothness, and often left feeling like I was managing my face instead of connecting with it.
At the same time, I was deepening my wellness journey—prioritizing flow, circulation, and daily rituals that made me feel more in my body. And something about Botox began to feel out of place.
It made me pause and ask: Is this still working for me?
This break hasn’t been about rules or absolutes—it’s just been about getting curious. Giving myself permission to glow a little differently.
And when I zoomed out, I had to remind myself—Botox is a pharmaceutical. A business. One designed to keep us coming back. That realization gave me even more clarity around my choice to step away for now.
If you’re in that questioning phase too, you’re not alone.
xx
